Thursday, March 29, 2007

Memoires #1

Recorded: July 20, 2005

"Mom and Dad are doing this exercise for their marriage counseling and it sounds interesting... Mom makes a list of what she thinks Dad appreciates about her... Dad makes a list of what he appreciates about her... Then they compare. The things that Mom thinks he appreciates are more superficial things. When they compare, she realizes that he appreciates things on a much deeper level. It is an interesting exercise for both.

Let's see: What do I think that Keith appreciates about me? In no particular order:

  1. Organization and prioritization

  2. Paying the bills

  3. Financial and emotional support

  4. Housework - cooking and laundry

What things do I appreciate most about Keith? In no particular order:

  1. Desire to provide

  2. Loves me as I am despite my flaws

  3. Shows me affection

  4. Spontaneity

  5. Willingness to do whatever I ask

I wonder what he thinks I appreciate about him? I will have to ask him."

I remember questioning Keith on these things after this journal entry, but I don't fully recall the outcome. Obviously I neglected to journal that part. So I'll ask him now...

Top 4-5 things Keith appreciates about me:

  1. Laundry

  2. That I took him when nobody else would

  3. That I understand about his drive at work

  4. Willingness to let him make his own friends

  5. Willingness to support all his crazy ideas and dreams

Top 5 things Keith thinks I appreciate about him:

  1. Ability to do handywork/construction

  2. Supportiveness in my dreams and crazy ideas

  3. His faith

  4. That he understands my drive at work

  5. Willingness to do chores around the house

These are quite interesting comparisons aren't they? I think perhaps we need to communicate such things to our spouses more regularly, especially when we are going through times of dryness in our relationship. I might just add my Number One piece of advice for married couples:

If you feel far from your spouse, rekindle your relationship with the Lord. When you are far from the Lord, you will find yourselves far from one another.


odat_kim said...

During our marriage prep counselling Andy and I were told by our pastor to regularly tell each other we appreciate something. I remember to tell Andy, but I can't remember him telling me, although that might be me :)

We do however for about a month every year email each other every day one reason why we appreciate each other. I have all of the emails I've sent him and received from him in this regard.

Jthemilker said...

What a great idea. I like that!