Tuesdays With Jen... My Memoirs

So we were planning a wedding!!! How exciting!!! We set the date, September 2, 2000 and booked the church and the reception hall. Our church has a wedding coordinator who only charged $50 to coordinate the entire ceremony at the church. Now there was $50 well spent.

We attended "marriage classes" with the pastor for several weeks before we tied the knot. Something he taught us was that we have to establish a plan for dealing with conflict. I've often wondered what that plan is in our life as I'm not sure we ever actually solidified that part. I am certain that we have had our share of conflict and it has taken some years to learn how to deal with each other in the midst of it. Something we learned about 2 years ago was that sometimes we fight because when one of us has an issue the other tries to fix it. We expend great efforts in offering solutions and suggestions. What we had failed to realize is that sometimes we just need to be heard! Imagine that!!! I can honestly say that this was a huge breakthrough in our relationship! We now are able to just tell the other "I'm not looking for solutions." and obviously that's our cue to SHUT UP and LISTEN! Anyway... I am certain that the Pastor had a good point; however I wish he could have offered some practical solutions at the time.

Anyway... We set out to plan the details of the wedding and reception. We asked our closest friends and family to participate... My baby sister was to be the Maid of Honor, then my two bestest girlfriends Rene'e and Chrissy, and of course his two sisters, Tammy and Denise were to be bridesmaids. We asked my brother Paul and brother in law Cory to be ushers as well as K's cousin Shawn and another two of my bestest friends, Ed and Dan. We didn't have a best man, we had a best lady... K's best friend Kelly. There was a flower girl, Joyce and a Ring-bearer, Paul (brother and sister).

I'll never forget asking my friend Ed (now deceased) if he would be an usher in my wedding. I took him to our favorite spot, the Dairy Queen, for ice cream. I think he was shocked! Of course he would have to find someone to milk his cows that night, but he was delighted to do so for such an occasion. I'm so glad he accepted and shared greatly in the celebration of our wedding with us.

I found these exquisite dresses in the JCPenney catalog and just HAD to have my bridesmaids wear them. As it goes, we had two different dresses. One was a plum colored suit-dress and the other a long navy blue A-line style dress. The men were to wear black tuxes with silver-gray vests.

I was obsessed with daisies at the time. They were well incorporated into the wedding preparations. There were tiny daisies for the bridesmaids to don upon their up-dos. There were daisy flowers galore. AND... I just happened to find the most perfect unity candle with DAISIES on it!!! I was delighted.

I made special time to shop for my gown. My grandmother, bless her heart, accompanied me to the bridal shoppe. It was a really special date. This was a time when I wanted so desperately to connect with a womanly figure in my life and none better than my Gram-ditties. When we arrived, I told her that I really liked tulle, more so than the satin dresses. She pointed out a plethora of dresses each unique, but specifically only those which met the specifications I had set forth... to have lots of tulle. She was a great listener I guess. It didn't matter which I should choose, for she would be delighted to see me in any of them. I narrowed it down to two different dresses and she helped me select the most perfect one. It was ivory, off the shoulders, and had plenty of tulle... of course. I shall never forget the loving tears in her eyes to see me model my wedding gown. There we were, just she and I... precious moments to cherish forever.

Meanwhile we found a really reasonable caterer who vowed to provide a delicious meal for a reasonable price. It was the caterer's idea to have the wedding party serve the cake after the meal. It made perfect sense... they were the first to eat and thus the first to finish eating. AND... they had a grand time doing so.

We booked a DJ and order flowers... K's Step-Mother ordered our invitations. She is a wedding coordinator herself. Of course... they had daisies on them! Who would have guessed!? I bought jelly jars, ribbon, and fresh cut flowers. Grandma and Aunt Jane prepared the jars of flowers for the tables. We made favors... ordered balloons... collected RSVPs and solidified plans for the big day.

There is so very much that goes into planning a wedding. There were things that HE wanted and things that I wanted and things that we had to collaborate on. But I have to tell you that my wedding day was the funnest day of my entire life. And... maybe next week I'll clue you in on the details of that special day!