Marriage Monday

Christine over at Fruit In Season hosts a weekly discussion topic regarding marriage. Click the photo to see this weeks topic, or see my two cents below.

Next Monday I'd like us to take a look at the roles we fulfill in our marriages. This can be a hot topic but I don't want this to become a debate. Let's just share what happens in our home and our family. Here are some questions to ponder:

What is your definition of a traditional marriage?

One might define the meaning of "traditional" as 'as the Lord intended' or perhaps "traditional" leaves room for changes between generations? While there are notable differences between my families generations - my marriage vs. my parents marriage vs. my grandparents marriage etc., I have chosen to view the traditional marriage as God has described. Genesis 2:24 says "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." I believe marriage began in this time and thus this is my best description of "traditional" marriage. In my own terms, I would consider traditional marriage to be between a man and a woman. A couple who shared a significant bond, and who would live out the model of marriage as the Lord intended, each yielding to one another. I have mentioned recently in one of my posts that marriage is designed to mimick the trinity, noting that this should be reason for the Lord to declare it to be a sacred union. Such sinfulness as adultery and homosexuality mock his perfect design.

Do you consider yours to be traditional or contemporary?
I would most definitely consider my marriage to be traditional, as in... I am a woman and my husband is a man. We each came from unique backrounds that shaped us into who we are today. We chose to step away from our parents to join together forming our own family. Together we are one body in Christ. We have a unique bond that we share with no other. We strive to yield our lives to Christ, focus on him, and in doing so we desire to serve one another as is His example. We are not always good at it, but we strive towards it.

What scriptures do you turn to (if any) when determining your role in your marriage?
There are SO MANY, but here are a few that I have pondered recently:

Ephesians 5, see my recent post in this regard.

Ephesians 4:29: "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." I realize that I must choose my words carefully so as to lift up my husband.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self‑seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.." Occasionally I conduct a personal reality check by taking this scripture and inserting my name where the word "love" appears.

In the sharing of duties in your home (childcare, work, house cleaning), are you and your husband satisfied with the way things get done? If not, how would you or he like it to change?

I think I speak for both of us when I say that we wish we had more time to accomplish household duties. Truth be told, we are exhausted much of the time we find ourselves free to do these things. Alas, these are things that must be conquered for everyday living. We each have things that we regularly do, but we meet in the middle overall. He takes out the trash and I put in the clean liner. He takes the dirty laundry to the laundry room and I do the washing. I wash the dishes (we don't have a dish-washer) and he puts the clean ones away. I tidy in the living room and he sweeps the floor. There are times when we both get lazy or just plain too busy. There are times when dishes and laundry pile high, and the trash overflows, but hey... that's what it's like in the REAL world sometimes.